Still out looking for last-minute Christmas gifts? Well, there certainly are plenty of new gadgets and gizmos on the market this year that you could purchase. For example, if you are the king of the grill at your home and want to prove it, you can buy a monogrammed meat brander that will let you put your initials onto any steak, hamburger or filet of fish that you throw on the old BBQ. If someone in your family is a fan of Star Trek (and you have $6500 to spare) the Captain’s Chair would make a stellar gift.
Then again, maybe not. In fact there are so many gifts on the market these days that, at least to us, really don’t seem to have much of a point. Gizmos are great, don’t get us wrong, but they need to actually be useful in some way, even if it’s just for entertainment. Unfortunately, we’ve found quite a few gifts floating around this year that simply don’t add up and probably should be left off of your gift list. Take a look at them below and see if you don’t agree with us.
1) Smart Basketballs. It seems that everything in the world today is being made “smart” and basketballs have now joined the list. If you have about $250 to toss into a basket along with your new ball, you’ll get a basketball that sends info about your shooting skills right to your connected smart phone. If you actually use it to check you probably don’t have skills to begin with.
2) Disguises for your Dog. Think your dog would look better as a duck? If you do, the duckbill shaped dog muzzle should do the trick. It fits over Fido’s snout and supposedly keeps them from biting. Our advice is that if your dog bites, don’t take it out in public but have a trainer come over and teach Sparky some manners first. Besides that, making your dog look like a cute little duck is bound to attract people to want to come over and actually pet your dog, something that might not be a great idea if your dog is prone to biting in the first place.
3) The Hapifork. Like the Smart Basketball, the Hapifork is Bluetooth enabled and will send information about your eating habits directly to your connected smart phone. Supposedly this will allow you to monitor your eating habits and eat less by putting the fork in your mouth fewer times. Of course if you take humongous forkfuls with every bite (or if you use a spoon), the accuracy might be slightly off.
4) Scratch ‘n Sniff Jeans. There’s nothing we love around here than spending ridiculous amounts of money on a new pair of jeans. Throw in the ability to scratch them and then sniff the (wonderful?) aroma just makes us want to do it even more. Not.
5) Solar powered Keyboard. This is, no doubt, for people who like to take their PC, laptop or tablet out into the hot sun (and accompanying glare) while they surf the Internet.
6) Hovercraft Golf Cart. For people who just can’t stand the grueling exercise of their golf game, $58,000 will buy them the newest in Hovercraft vehicles made for the sport. It’s also a wonderful way to let everyone else on the golf course know that you’re there as it’s about as loud as, well, a freaking Hovercraft.
7) Diamond Evening Dress. For the ridiculously rich woman who has everything (but still wants more) there’s an evening dress that comes bedecked in $5.7 million worth of diamonds or about 100 carat’s worth. We would make a pun here but, seriously, it’s not even worth the effort. We suppose that the woman who purchases this dress will more than likely also purchase some Caviar Skin Cream to go with it. For only $150 it’s an absolute bargain!
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. 10 Christmas gifts and gadgets that we highly recommend you don’t buy or even consider buying this year. If you do, don’t say we didn’t warn you. Aw heck, who are we kidding? If you purchase anything on this list please get back to us and tell us about your experiences with them. Until then, we wish all of you the very happiest of Holidays.